I am flat out exhausted, having trouble focusing at work today because I am trying to balance being a business leader with being a human being. Being a business executive doesn’t divorce me from being a black man in America. The texts and calls I received from colleagues around the country this weekend who work for my bank (especially my teammates in Philly) have been disheartening. The conversations we are all having with our children, isn’t new, these are conversations my dad had with me 35 years ago and I’ve had with my children since they were 10 years old. Violence is never the answer, I truly believe that in my heart. However, I completely understand the rage, the pain, and the mistrust that is driving some of this behavior.
Humanity – it’s a simple word. As humans we are all a part of the same family. Like all families, we don’t agree all the time, we fuss, we argue, but no matter what within families, the humanity of family members generally is not challenged. That is at the very heart of what we are seeing currently. It’s the “otherization” of black people. When you can successfully otherize black people, you can justify chattel slavery for hundreds of years, government sanctioned segregation and oppression for 50 plus years and the covert racism and indifference we have today. When you see me as something other than a part of your human family, it’s easy to look away when I am murdered unjustly. It’s easy to interfere with my ability to take advantage of the very simple things in life; members of our human family should take for granted.
For those trying to figure out what they can do:
- See the humanity in all people. Acknowledging that is the first step to ensuring that we will not have more families in mourning like the family of #GeorgeFloyd.
- Acknowledge our differences. See color, see culture, see upbringing. When you say and think you are colorblind, you ignore aspects of humans, that make them human. Trust me, it’s OK to see color
- Don’t deflect the issues, don’t justify the murder of black people in a systematic fashion by discussing non relevant issues like black on black crime. Like my guy Shannon Sharpe says all the time, when Ray kills Tyrone and it’s on video tape and there are 19 witnesses, not only is Ray going to trial, Ray is going to jail for the rest of his life. How hard should it be to expect that same in instances like George Floyd. Also don’t “all lives matter” me either, of course all lives matter. All cancer matters too, but we have no problem clearly calling out the issue of breast cancer without bringing up lung cancer, so I can talk about black lives mattering, without discounting the humanity of all lives. There is nothing Mr. Floyd did, that should have resulted in his execution just like Eric Garner.
- Don’t be silent. Your silence and inaction show acceptance. Talk about these issues with your own family, friends, and neighbors. Don’t just feel bad, feel empowered. Feel empowered to make a difference where you are. You don’t have to march or protest to make a difference, allow your friends and family to see you as an example. Go on your social media page, post a positive story about any group that has been “otherized”, so that group becomes more humanized to people you know. If you want good positive stories on black folks, please let me know.
- Don’t be defensive. No one is calling you a racist or saying you personally owned slaves. You also don’t have to tell me that you aren’t racist, you don’t have to tell me about your black or brown friends. Live your life with all humanity. Visit a church outside of your neighborhood. Volunteer outside of your neighborhood. Have a meal (don’t just get takeout) outside your neighborhood. Immerse yourself with your human family, so you always see other humans, as humans.
- Change. Why am I posting this on a platform for business networking? Because I am hoping businesspeople connected to me, drive for change. Don’t just rebuild your stores or reopen your stores, help rebuild the communities. Get involved to help our communities heal and get better. This is not an issue of the black community, saying that “otherizes” people. This is an issue of the American community, the human community, when you don’t take ownership, you won’t take responsibility for change.
I wrote this specifically for my oldest son. Lamont is a sweet 16 year old kid, but he is also 6 feet and a pretty muscular 175 pounds and some people otherize him, so I fear for his safety. My son is no different than your sons or your daughters. I don’t want my son or anyone else’s child to be otherized. My son is human, George Floyd was human. My son’s life matters, your children lives matter, George Floyd’s life mattered. Please don’t otherize your human family.
